Friday, 30 December 2022

Prince Andrew flies to Romania to offer advice to Andrew Tate

Prince Andrew has been feeling incredibly nervous after hearing about an alleged sex trafficker called Andrew being arrested after a pizza incident. It brought back painful memories of the time Andrew - the royal one - had to use £13 million of taxpayer money to pay off one of the women Jeffrey Epstein had trafficked, even though poor Andrew had never met her. This meant he wasn't able to buy himself a new ski chalet that year. Poor thing.

Prince Andrew has been feeling incredibly nervous after hearing about an alleged sex trafficker called Andrew being arrested after a pizza incident. It brought back painful memories of the time Andrew - the royal one - had to use £13 million of taxpayer money to pay off one of the women Jeffrey Epstein had sex-trafficked, even though Andrew had never met her. This meant he wasn't able to buy himself a new ski chalet that year. Poor thing.

We are now entering a troubling period where rich Andrews are no longer considered above the law and this obviously has to be stopped. Therefore Prince Andrew has flown to Romania to offer advice to his namesake who just happens to share many of the same hobbies. It must be nice getting a visit from someone you have so much in common with.

If you're not up-to-date, Andrew Potato, who is like an agony aunt for incels, has been detained for at least 30 days while Romanian police investigate the allegations against him. Fortunately, Prince Andrew never had to endure a detention process because his mummy was the Queen at the time he was accused. Thank god he isn't going through this today, eh?

Prince Andrew is understood to have advised Andrew Potato to pay £13 million to each of the women he's never met to buy their silence. This is obviously the best way of showing the world you have nothing to hide. Prince Andrew is also understood to have told Andrew Potato not to panic and say something stupid like he can't sweat. This is because Prince Andrew has spent the last couple of years spraying his face with Sure for Men Maximum Protection and avoiding radiators and hot lights like the plague.

Prince Andrew apparently offered to take on Greta, but the other Andrew told him not to be "so fucking stupid" and to ensure he is recycling pizza boxes at all costs. Andrew Potato explained to Prince Andrew that he is a four-time world champion kickboxer and Greta still KO'd him inside one round. All it took was one quote-tweet and she ratioed him so hard she sent him all the way to the prison yard. That tiny 19-year-old is not be messed with.

The prince is therefore resorting to plan B - he is going to set up a TikTok account and blame this whole thing on Meghan Markle. It's about time she was put in her place for the crime of doing absolutely nothing wrong.

Prince Andrew is believed to have told Andrew Potato not to worry because if he gets found guilty, he can easily be suicided and flown to a tropical island like Epstein as soon as they figure out how to turn the cameras off. This reassured the other Andrew, but he was concerned about the small dick energy thing so Prince Andrew insisted no one is making fun of his manhood. Perhaps it would be better if Andrew Potato never got released from prison so he never discovers the truth x

Thank you so much for letting me vent! If you enjoyed this article, you can buy me a coffee below or simply share this article with a friend x


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