Just when people were writing Liz Truss off, she comes out with something that's going to get her 11% approval rating soaring again! Evidently, she has been involved in heavy discussions to see which policies could be hugely popular with the public and by god, she has found one. This is because the National Grid have said we can expect 3-hour blackouts this winter.

Now Liz had previously insisted there would be no blackouts this winter, but she was clearly teasing us until the big reveal. I wish I knew how to do the heart-eyes emoji on Blogger, because WOW!

Truss's ingenious energy strategy comes with several clear benefits:

1. It will reduce your energy bill obviously, because you won't have energy

2. Your house will be really clean because you'll have nothing to do, apart from housework

3. Sales of candles will go through the roof, boosting the economy

4. It will reduce your carbon footprint

The woke lefties keep coming up with ridiculous ideas like "wind farms" to tackle the climate crisis and this is why no one takes them seriously. They don't seem to understand that if the wind stops blowing, we don't get electricity, idiots. Our current system is much better because if the gas stops flowing, we don't get electricity. Obviously this is totally different.

People have criticised Liz for massively reducing our gas storage capacity, but she was thinking about the environment. She is always putting our children first. This is why she's keen to come up with clean alternatives, like, um, fracking, after speaking to her friends in the fracking industry who love giving her donations. Sure, we'll get poisoned water supplies and earthquakes, but, um, I forgot where I was going with this...

Anyways, people have criticised Liz for making us dependent on gas from dictators like Putin, but they're forgetting that if we cut the gas off for three hours, this will hurt Putin in the pocket. This is how Ukraine wins the war!

Liz has assured us that we are not dependent on Russian gas anyway because we have our own gas supply, but she has also explained shortages and price rises are definitely the fault of Putin. These totally contradictory ideas are in no way contradictory.

Yes, our per unit energy cost is increasing exponentially, but Liz has reassured us we definitely won't pay over £2,500 a year and I'm absolutely certain she understands her own policy. A prime minister couldn't possibly be stupid enough to misunderstand their own policy, could they?

Now you might be concerned that unexpected blackouts could derail your plans so you'll be relieved to know you'll be notified 24 hours in advance. This will definitely not inconvenience anyone, not even the people who have vital medical equipment in their homes to keep them alive.

The government says you can do your bit to help with the energy crisis by using your dishwasher in the middle of the night so it's outside of peak hours. Why they couldn't just ask people to wash dishes manually is beyond me x

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