This may be upsetting news, but I must make you aware Nadine Dorries said something that lefties will probably agree with. Yes, the MP who lovingly gazes at Boris Johnson like a teenage BTS fan and tried to privatise Channel 4 for telling the truth about the government has gone all woke on us. We now have no choice but to cancel her.

This is because she clashed with Jacob Rees-Mogg who is the only living person equipped with 18th-century scientific knowledge (although it's hotly disputed whether Jacob should even be classed as living).

Jacob typed something into his Twitter machine which I could not make sense of because it was written in ye olde English, but apparently, he was saying that Rishi Sunak should not attend COP27. This may or may not have been because it's being held in a hot country and Jacob has not been allowed out in sunlight for over 200 years. It could well have been jealousy, but either way, Jacob was obviously right.

Anyways, from what I've gathered, Rishi listened to Jacob and said he wouldn't go to Sharm El Sheikh, prompting Nadine to rant about how COP27 was a brilliant idea actually. It was a really surreal moment. Nadine normally has such good takes, but sadly not this time. She said:

"For balance, my friend…The Prime Minister is WRONG not to go to COP. Global warming is the biggest crisis facing our planet and net zero creates many 1000s of jobs which is good for the economy. COP in Glasgow was the most successful ever… but don’t expect media to report that"

I would like to take the opportunity to apologise for the shit grammar. Those mistakes are Nadine's, not mine. She's a fucking idiot.

Anyways, let's just unpack this. Nadine thinks "global warming" is the biggest crisis facing our planet when Liz Truss has a bunch of amazing selfies in her phone, but she can't even share them because she's been driven off social media. Priorities Nadine.

She said net-zero creates thousands of jobs and this is also terrible, I just can't think of a reason why, but I'll come up with something, don't you worry.

Finally, she said COP in Glasgow was the most successful one ever. What does that even mean? There is no global warming in Glasgow! The place is a frozen wasteland overrun with drunken barbarians. Last time I visited, I thought they were going to eat me! An angry mob actually called me "Tory scum" and chased me back to Glasgow Central Station.

So as you can see Nadine is wrong about everything and obviously wants to become a tofu-eating Liberal Democrat now. I think she should just bloody well leave x

Thank you so much for letting me vent! If you enjoyed this article, you can buy me a coffee below or simply share this article with a friend x