Liz Truss has sacked her chancellor Kwasi Kwarteng today for the crime of implementing her flagship economic policies. Liz has explained she bears no responsibility for the chancellor implementing the policies she wanted him to implement and therefore she will not be resigning. 

Please understand the crashing of the economy and the Tory collapse in the polls is entirely Kwasi's fault. He failed to make the fantasy economics of the IEA a reality and he must be punished for making them look like massive grifters.

Liz has explained the lady is not for U-turning because she is actually more into pirouettes. She has also explained abandoning her key policies after being in the job for about a fortnight (if you discount the national mourning period which was caused by her deadly handshake) is not such a big deal. The Tory membership might have voted for her on the basis of those policies, meaning she no longer has a mandate from them, but she never had a mandate from the wider public anyway. If she can U-turn on her party's manifesto, she can also U-turn on whatever bollocks she told the Tory membership to become prime minister. All it requires is no principles whatsoever.

Perhaps the saddest part of this debacle is how Truss will now be increasing corporation tax to 26%, thanks to the anti-growth brigade. George Osborne boldly cut corporation tax to 19% in 2010 and although this move failed to stimulate new growth, Truss was convinced things would be different this time. The policy just needed 12 years to get started and now it's dead, just when it was opening its wings like a beautiful butterfly. So tragic.

Anyways, Liz has scheduled a press conference for some time later today to make the grand announcement. I'm not going to bother telling you what time, because it will surely be dire, and you can expect her delivery to be more wooden than Pinocchio, but basically she's going to say everything I've just said above. 

Liz should probably hire me to be her scriptwriter, actually. I'd be brilliant. And she should probably hire one of those call centre voice thingies to be her script reader. It would be more convincingly human.

I've not checked the markets yet, but presumably, they will enjoy a nice little bounce and the pound should recover a bit because the biggest threat to the economy was our own prime minister. Putin can only marvel at the Trussbot's destructiveness.

If anyone is worried about what poor Kwasi will do next, don't be. I'm sure he'll walk straight into a job with his old employer, Crispin Odey, who has grown his business Odey Asset Management by 145% during the Truss crisis. Kwasi will have no trouble lining his own pockets after this debacle and that is all that matters.

Interestingly, the person who replaces Kwasi will be the fourth chancellor in four months and if Liz does resign, her replacement will be the fifth Tory prime minister in six years. David Cameron wasn't lying when he promised strong and stable government, was he? x

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