Tories warn Mick Lynch is cancelling Christmas like they did in 2020

James Cleverly is highly concerned that Mick Lynch is trying to cancel Christmas this year, so concerned, in fact, that he is referring to him as "Mick Grinch".

Obviously, the Tory Party would never dream of cancelling the Christmas holidays. Well, apart from that time when they literally did cancel Christmas at the very last minute in 2020, after promising not to, ruining the plans of millions of people. 

The Tories definitely felt bad about this because ordinarily, they would not shit on capitalist, I mean Christian festivals. They would much rather cancel other religious festivals, such as Eid, which they also cancelled at the very last minute in 2020. In fact, the only parties they didn't cancel that year were the karaoke nights in Downing Street!

As you can see, the Tory Party clearly has a moral high ground when it comes to the cancellation of holidays. Therefore we must fully support their war against the people who keep our vital infrastructure running.

I'm not sure if you are aware of this, but train drivers are paid £375,000 a year and only work four days a month. Actually, that might be rail executives, but the point is those train drivers are loaded and the fact train drivers are not striking because they are not represented by the RMT is irrelevant. The bot army on Twitter is very mad at those train drivers and I stand in full solidarity with them. The bots, that is.

If the RMT wanted to save Christmas, they could just agree to the English government's pay offer, just like they did with the Scottish government and the Welsh government. If they can agree terms with those two governments, I simply can't fathom why they wouldn't accept a significantly lower offer from the English government. Clearly, the RMT is the problem and not the Tories.

Mick Lynch is behaving like a crazed dictator by explaining the democratic decisions of RMT members on national TV and he must be stopped because he is trying to raise living standards for rail workers. No wonder James Cleverly calls Mick "Grinch".

But it's not just the RMT who are the "enemy of the people", it's those dreadful nurses who are getting in on the strike action at the worst possible time. Do they not understand strikes are not supposed to be disruptive?

If we rewind back two and a half years to the moment when nurses were prepared to die to save others during a terrifying pandemic, way back when there wasn't even a vaccine and we didn't know what we were facing or who was going to survive, I think the most reasonable thing anyone could have told nurses is that they would later be given a real terms pay cut to save the economy. 

Let's be honest, there was no other way we could have afforded a £7.3 billion tax giveaway for the real heroes during the pandemic - the bankers.

Now if bankers went on strike, absolutely no one would notice the difference - and this is how we define who is deserving in society - the least essential workers get the most money and vice-versa. Due to our current financial difficulties, those with the narrowest shoulders should take the burden and ease the strain on those with the deepest pockets. It's only fair.

Now you might not understand this, but there is actually no money available to give nurses. Not even the £350 million a week from the Brexit bus because that went on Michelle Mone's yacht and Michael Gove's cocaine habit. Probably. 

Economists have explained that a one-off wealth tax of one percent on millionaires could only fund nurses' pay demands for the next 162 years. As you can see, this would be nowhere near enough.

Money is so tight that we can't even waive car parking charges for nurses who are struggling so badly that one in three of them have resorted to payday loans. Waiving those parking fees would be totally unaffordable because it would cost us absolutely nothing. Plus we need to prioritise by subsidising the Downing Street bars and restaurants to the tune of £17 million a year.

One in ten nurses have used a foodbank in the past year, but if you think that sounds bad, some bankers are so hard up, they can no longer afford a nanny and have to look after their own kids like everyone else. Some of them can't even afford a cleaner now. I even heard a distressing story about a banker who was electrocuted when trying to use a vacuum cleaner for the first time. You don't want to know where they put the plug. Anyways, they were so scared by the noise it made, they now suffer from PTSD and jump every time they hear the wind howl. Harrowing stuff.

I hope I've outlined in detail why nurses taking pay cuts is clearly in the national interest and it is selfish of them to want to feed their children. If they don't want hungry kids, they should bloody well get an important job and leave the medical profession forever. Obviously, this is definitely not what the Tories want them to do x

Thank you so much for letting me vent! If you enjoyed this article, you can buy me a coffee below or simply share this article with a friend x